Grandparenting Jokes

A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee.  He made it himself and was so proud.  He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. 

The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup. 

She asked, "Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?" 

Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.' "

Grandpa and granddaughter were sitting talking when she asked, "Did God make you, Grandpa?"

"Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered.

A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, "Did God make me too?" "Yes, He did," the grandpa answered.

For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in a small mirror. Her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind. At last she spoke up.

"You know, Grandpa," she said, "God's doing a lot better job lately."

A FRIEND was making dolls for her grandchildren.  As she was painstakingly finishing a dimpled knee, the phone rang. 

"Hi, Mom, what are you doing?" came her son's cheery voice. 

Removing pins from her mouth, my friend answered, "Making babies."  There was silence at the other end.   Then, quietly, "Oh, is Dad home?"

When Joe’s grandson, Tim, asked him how old he was, Joe teasingly replied, “I’m not sure.”

“ Look in your underwear, Grandpa,” Tim advised “Mine says I’m 4 to 6.”

Maria was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she’d done many times before.

After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, “But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!”

Maria will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye….