Weekend fun

A lady bought a new $100,000 Mercedes and proudly drove it off the showroom floor to take home. Halfway home, she attempted to change radio stations and saw that there appeared to be only one station. She immediately turned around and headed back to the dealer.

Once at the dealer, she found her salesman and began to excitedly explain that her radio was not working, and they must replace it since she only had one radio station. The salesman calmed her down and told her that her car radio was voice-activated, and that she would only need to state aloud the type of music that she wanted and the car would find it.

She got into the car and started the engine and then said the word "country," and the radio changed to a station playing a George Strait song. She was satisfied and started home. After a while she decided to try out the radio and said "rock 'n' roll;" the radio station changed and a song by the Rolling Stones came from the speakers. Quite pleased, the woman continued driving.

A few blocks from her house, another driver ran a light causing her to slam on her brakes to avoid a collision. The woman angrily exclaimed, "Asshole!"

...The radio cut over to George Bush's press conference.
 
                                                                         
   
Clinton returns from a vacation in Arkansas and walks down the steps of Air Force One with two pigs under his arms.

At the bottom of the steps, the honor guardsman steps forward and remarks, "Nice pigs, Mr. President"

Clinton replies, "I'll have to let you know that these are genuine Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary.. So, now what do you think?"

The honor guardsman answers: "Nice trade, Sir."
 
                                                                           
 
Hillary Clinton was on her way somewhere when he came across a little boy selling puppies. She stops and asks the boy "What kind of puppies are they?"

The boy replies, "They're Democratic puppies, Ma'am." With this she smiles and walks off.

Later on that day she mentions to Bill about the boy and his puppies and suggested that it might be nice to have a puppy around the house. The next week Bill was on his way to McDonald's and saw the boy and his puppies. He stops and asks the boy, "What kind of puppies are they?"

The boy replies, "They're Republican puppies, Sir."

"Republican puppies?" Bill asked. "Last week you told my wife they were Democratic puppies."

The boy replied, "I know, Sir. But since then they opened their eyes."